Monday, January 6, 2014

Episode 1: First Impressions

Two words. JUAN. PABLO.


Tonight was the night that we met all 27 contestants vying for the dreamy Latino bachelor Juan Pablo's heart.


After meeting all of the women, the brainless Spaniard remarked that he didn't know how he was going to get rid of two gorgeous women. Really? The whole point of the show is to eliminate until there is only one. Despite his bewilderment about thinning the herd, he figured it out by the end of the night, sending 9 women packing.
One of the worst moves of the night came from first grade teacher, who upon arrival awarded the bachelor with a gold star. I'm sure he imagined raising his hand to go to bathroom if they were to be wed, needless to say the first grade teacher ended up receiving no rose.
If I could give any of the women some advice, do NOT wear green. Green means go and go means gone. To the girl that was wearing green- You looked like the little mermaid. Papa Jim has spoken.


First prediction: The dog lover will not make it to the final rose ceremony, no matter how great she is, because she will continue to put her dog's needs in front of any relationship.